He had the worst case of it
That she had ever seen
He’d come down with lawn envy
And he was bleeding green

To keep up with the Lawnwells
Was proving rather hard
As they sunk many thousands
Into their perfect yard

So he used the sweat method
All Saturday, half Sun —
He’d work on fertilizing
And mulching – not much fun

He’d trim, he’d mow, he’d rake, he’d sow
He strike a bargain, Faustian;
As once again, lawn envy
Led straight to heat exhaustion