1983

Is it 1983?
’Cause it is to me.
At least — it is right now.
I’m twenty one years old
And although it’s cold in December,
I’m burning like a midday sun,
The course only halfway run
On the last lap of the way to the finish line
Called “college”.
All that knowledge I
Took in, hoping
To win a little, just enough.
Ambitions small and localized,
Tough, but often, anesthetized,
With the universe expanding
Almost at the speed of my ego,
A thing both wondrous and monstrous,
And fragile as an old TV signal.
Back at the dorm in January, now,
Watching the old Oakland Raiders win
An unlikely championship surrounded
By as many beer cans as I had wishes,
Pat Summerall’s voice echoing down
The empty halls of memory

a case of introspection

things not meant, but destinies;
words much said, but little meant --
how is it we become these shells,
our ways so damned improvident?

oh, blame can be an elusive thing:
the outer, the inner - they're none of them us.
when the road that we travel is always one,
a tricycle ends up the same as a bus.

but we cover our ugly with motion and noise:
every bit of the nothing that adds up to less,
until stillness uncovers the wrecks that we are,
where the secrets we keep are not worth a confess,

and the hollow and broken and vain that we hide
is at last laid wide open, for all to see --
if any would notice, which none likely will,
as even our failure is spoiled by our

vanity

Sonnet on the Beach

Just past the places where we used to walk,
Along the shore as evening fell in grace,
There're still the echoes of our murmured talk
And palm tree shadows once that touched your face.

For dark though grows the water off the dock,
And weary grows the heart that wonders why,
Just past the places where we used to walk,
What's left of fire, turned to mist and sky

Spreads out with eagle's wings upon the thought
That once, there was a different kind of song,
And with the joy, the movement that it brought,
Was agony we still sought to prolong.

 It is a fact, though: true and somewhat sad,
 What doesn't kill us makes us wish it had