it turns out
growing up means
choosing your sacrifice
a bit of regret
you thought you would, but couldn’t;
the time, the place fell through —
instead, although you shouldn’t,
you let him see you through
the difficult incursion.
the aftermath: no doubt
that having let him in would mean
you’d finally seen
him out
losing the competition
the time they spent together
seemed so right —
similar interests,
easy conversation,
and an unforced intimacy that
turned red hot at the right moments
but
she kept losing the competition
for his time to
another woman, one
she thought she could
pry him away from —
so she ended it
wondering how she lost a good thing,
not to a supermodel or
some sexual gymnast, but
to a grown man’s
mother
Another Day Out On the Beach
I stretch my arms wide to the sky; The clouds ignore me (as they will) I listen to the seagull's cry, Or sigh, or song, or threat, or thrill -- I cannot tell, for I don't speak Much seagull (least not fluently) Another day out on the beach, I'll spend most Incongruently
That’s Just How It Goes
We’re bored with what’s familiar,
But don’t want things to change;
Such time-bound creatures as we are,
You’d think we’d rearrange
Priorities, so we’d clear out
Out thought/emotion plumbing —
Instead, the ‘last days’ pile up,
And we don’t see
Them coming
A Love Story
Once, a shy girl: soft imploding,
Preset pillows, pressed decoding,
Colored contacts, carbo loading,
Lover, fighter, guard of dreams —
Then, a new boy: bright exploring,
Hope expanding, thoughts outpouring,
Dark hair shining, passions warring,
Writer, painter, all extremes —
Came a moment: golden gladness,
Manic mixture, molten madness,
Scenes of soon-forgotten sadness,
Two lives taken off of shelves
Once, a shy girl: gotten bolder,
Then, a new boy made to hold her,
One more day, but not just older,
Two new people, now
Themselves
Sketches – 93
I used to wonder how ugly guys ended up with beautiful women — now I are one
You are not ugly. I would not have married you if you were. Your grammar, on the other hand…
Ugliness is more than appearance. Or maybe less, I can never remember
Well, that’s just nonsense
How about, “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way down?”
That makes a little more sense, but it is not you. You do a lot for other people, so don’t give me that hogwash
Hogwash?
Yes, as in “the bilgy water used for the cleaning of hogs”
Oh. And speaking of hogwash, I have to give a talk out of town next weekend
About what?
The title of the talk is “Statistical effects on morbidity and mortality: How the pandemic has impacted health conditions unrelated to COVID“
Well, that actually does sound kind of ugly. Is this a bunch of you actuarial types?
Yes. I’ll only be gone Friday night, because it’s only about a six hour drive, and I’ll be done by 1:00 Saturday. You could come, if you want, but I figured you’d be working
Actually, I think I will come. You’re going up to Columbia, right?
No, Charlotte.
Even better. I don’t have to attend the actual speech, right?
No, of course not. I’m trying to figure out a way I can avoid going to my own talk. What do you have in mind?
I want to go down to the river and do some sketching. That would really help.
Cool. It will be a fairly late night Friday; we will probably get in around midnight. The company has got me at the Westin.
Double cool. I get to turn into the mysterious midnight hotel version of me.
I seem to remember liking that version of you A LOT
You remember correctly
Just don’t knock all the numbers out of my head, I’m going to need them
I am making no promises. You knew the risks when you married me
the one who criticizes
the one who follows cannot say with truth the way it feels to lead; the one who criticizes, but has never planted their first seed but who then comments, knowingly; as though the sidelines make the coach, like anglers who ford no stream but think it's all the same if they just poach
the trees of Avalon
Beneath the trees of Avalon, We waited for the night; With purple, indigo, and gold, Awash the waning light -- We fled the anger and the strife, The bloodshed and the violence; We asked for mercy and for peace, The waited on The silence