Trying to Understand Is Worth It
I was an experiment.
My ‘feeling hurt’ has made you quite defensive,
You’re angry that I fell in love with you;
I had no right, because you never loved me,
I realize all that now. But still, it’s true
That I must grieve a dream that only I had,
And grow hot in the foolishness I feel;
To know that what I came to hope and cherish
Was nothing in your eyes,
And never
Real
The boy and girl who traveled here
Have vanished in the swirl of time;
In acres of seclusion sits
A cabin in a glade
And trav’ling far, I stop my car,
And breathe in autumn’s snowy clime;
Recalling now, in fits and bits
The promises we made
The key still hidden by the door,
I turn the lock and enter in;
The stove, the bed, still side-by-side
Where once we lay, entwined
And then, anew, the scent of you,
The soft feel of your glowing skin,
The many ways of love we tried
Come crowding in my mind
The promises we didn’t keep
The hours that we didn’t sleep
The hands that we held thoughtlessly
With love but lightly clad –
The acres of seclusion we
Took with us out into the world;
Two broken people, using up
The one last chance
They had
One day, I know
Another man will hold you,
For this goodbye
Will set you on your way
Another heart
For yours to beat in time to,
A better life
That starts for you today
I’m sure it will
Be magical and different,
A million lights
Flipped on by that one switch
No time misspent
With someone unimportant,
Who never had
The knack
For being rich
To tell the story of a life
Takes many pages, many words;
To tell the story of a love
Takes every bit as long
The you I saw in summer fields
Beneath an endless weightless sky
The you I felt in tenderness
The softness of your skin, a sigh
For now, when I remember you
There is a novel in my mind;
The beauty of your memory
Is always young, and brave, and kind
There’s beauty in the world, I know,
But I thought I had lost it then:
You walked into the room, and I
Became the mindfulest of men
But this – this was not me at all
This was all you, and love; it was
A type of wakeful dreaming where
I did not want to wake, because
Your magic was in everything.
If ever a man loved, I did:
I cherished every moment, and
I lay awake at night and bid
The minutes slow their very march.
To lengthen time, our time, so much
As possible; to see your eyes
To stroke your hair, to softly touch
Your skin beneath your summer dress.
To love you there with all my heart;
Your words of warning in my ears
That love is short and lovers part.
A life, my life, what is it now?
It’s just a cold and fading fire
A soon forgotten flickering
Of what was once raging desire
And all for you, my long true love –
Who taught me wonder in the night,
Whose hand I took to cross the bridge
Of leaving off and doing right
The day is closing in, and I
Put down my pen, and rest a while –
For now, when I remember you
I shiver once, and lastly
Smile
(“Now, When I Remember You” – 6-25-2015)
There’s lightning on the lake tonight
The world is dark and wet
This house is full of memory
That I’d as soon forget
With loud crashes of violence
The sky attacks the earth
But can’t drive out the eidolons
To which my mind gives birth
This house protects me from the storm
The wind howls fruitlessly
There’s lightning on the lake tonight
And no one here
But me
(“Lightning On The Lake” – 8-17-2014)
… in many things.
I once believed in happiness
Before the pain set in;
I once believed that love and hope
Were there to lose, or win
I once believed the old, old songs
About love strong and true:
I once believed in many things
When I believed
In you
(“I Once Believed” – 10-8-2014)
You know her angry, critical;
A person certain, full of pride –
But once, there was another her;
From time long past and distance wide —
She loved a boy, who was her heart;
But he, at last, his love denied –
He left her on what should have been
The day that she became a bride
So now you see her as she is,
Someone who always seems outside;
Who keeps her distance from the team,
With comments both acerb and snide
But if you knew her as I do –
The love that never died inside –
You’d know that hearts are full of fields
Where flowers grow
That none
Have spied
(“Hearts Are Full Of Fields” – 6-30-2015)
