the sad is search and
difficult with all of its
dramatics to turn oneself into a
prize it’s moral
acrobatics we love because
we love to love to need to feel
inside but all that ever was
and is is made of clove and
pride we string along our
platitudes we soon evince our
longing but souls are made of fragile
stuff and yearning for
I took a date down to these waters
Many years ago;
To talk and watch the day go down
From light to indigo
And she was right next to me, I
Inhaled her with the air –
A scent I still remember
As though I was sitting there
And friends, among the many things
I know that I have lost;
The roads I will not find again,
The gone whose paths I’ve crossed
She sits inside me, always,
Ever beautiful, and one:
Amid palms & pavilion
At the setting of
= = = = =
Photo credit : © Erichinson | Dreamstime.com – Palms & Pavillion, Gulf Coast Photo
She called to tell me that she was engaged –
Me, dating some love spasm at the time –
Who I brought with me to meet them for drinks
Which I think were Coronas – yes – with lime
And she still looked a perfect movie star
And so did he, if truth, in fact, be told;
They were so good together: he was kind.
And I was happy for the ring of gold
She wore now on her finger as a sign
That she with him would now forever stay.
A thing I thought unlikely at the time,
Although they’re still together to this day
It’s funny: I write poems all the time.
I dredge these stories up from memory:
And find sometimes I didn’t know my heart
Until I write these down in poetry
We’d flirted with each other, and had tested
The waters of erotic friendliness;
When that part of our friendship was abandoned
I found, I didn’t love her any less
I loved her more as friends; for she was regal,
And meant for kindness as a life reward:
And she was happy now – I know she still is –
With someone who loved her
When Roni had me pick her up,
I almost lost my mind:
A lonely dude at twenty-three
The restless dating kind
We got dressed up to go to see
The local symphony;
Italian dinner, wine, and then
A drive down by the sea
She touched my face with both her hands
And I’m sure it went scarlet:
If this had been a movie script
She’d be the stunning starlet
And I, the semi-funny schlump
Who somehow gets the girl:
But we weren’t in a movie script
And that was not our world
Instead, we chatted in the dark
Beside the waters glowing;
I’d brush the hair back from her face
So long and brown and flowing
And I don’t know that she could know
Just what that was for me;
For her, some dating throwaway,
For me, a memory
Of moonlight and of Roni
All alone out very late:
As we fogged up the windows,
Just two people, on a date
She wrote often on intimate subjects;
He obsessed often about them.
So, to his mind,
They were perfect for each other.
And she lived in the very same city!
So, he contrived to meet her;
Fascinated with this beautiful woman
Who wrote so passionately about
Enjoying physical relations with men —
Sex without relationships.
So, he did meet her.
She was polite, but, most definitely,
He was confused and angry.
How could this be?
Oh, my poor unfortunate friend:
Just because she enjoys dating men,
Doesn’t mean she wants to be with you;
And “Sex without relationships”
Doesn’t mean “Sex with people
You aren’t attracted to.”
The moral of the story
For heterosexual guys looking for
Sex without relationships
Is as follows.
Welcome to the 21st century!
It is all yours.
It probably was ever thus.
Life can really suck.
Of course, you COULD
Look for an actual relationship
With a woman
Not based solely on sex.
There is even a rumor out there
The sex in an actual relationship
Is considerably more satisfying.
So up we went
To a sky that nearly swallowed us –
A bass line could be heard across
The vast expanse of people –
Smells of sugar and salt and butter and
A bit of your perfume
I still can smell —
Two holding hands and feeling high
In several different ways –
We laughed to feel the wind and all
The myriad sensations of the evening –
Clad in our respect for dating, and
Our devotion to the cause of discovering
Just how high and how far and how fast
We could go
And not really on a date, but only sort of
I once loved a woman much smarter than me,
And also a better musician;
She had quick wit, and a good turn of phrase,
And a fair healthy share of ambition.
I know that she’s richer than Midas these days,
Her talents remain, unabated:
But she has a spot in her heart still for me,
That idiot that
She once dated