there was a tension always there
and both of them could feel it;
they did the motions, every day,
but neither could conceal it —

for now the thing is at their door,
the truth that needs admitting —
and what’s so finely balanced as
two hearts that feel

like quitting

The Holidays They Never Took

The holidays they never took surround her in the night;

The many reasons that she found to not do what was right –

The beach they never walked on, with its still unopened shells,

That she must see alone,

For he’s now there with

Someone else

i only once

i only once
beside you once
inside you once
then grieved you once

and in a thrice
the tears of twice,
in days of ice
believed you once

for every once
i should have once
but lost you once
for i'm

a dunce

© Andriy Bezuglov | – Girl in red hood

Supposed to Be

Between what is and what should have been.

The way that it’s supposed to be,
We’d be out there together;
We’d watch watch her grow concurrently,
Then loose her from the tether that is us.

That’s “we”, not “me” and “you”:
A family’s what we had,
But now, that’s all a memory,
That went from good to bad —

You took my hand and I took yours.
We loved behind these folding doors
We’ve folded up and stored away –
For there’s nothing to hide now

I see you in our daughter’s eyes:
I do not think you realize
That she still holds out hope for us
That you have smashed to pieces —

The way that it’s supposed to be
I’m here for you, you’re here for me;
But there’s no “here” where we can meet,
Your smash-and-grab job’s quite complete

You lost respect for me and so

There’s nowhere left for love to go

No ground left to find empathy

The way that it’s




it was supposed to matter

when first we came into this room,
the “we should’s” and the “right here’s” flew;
then time came by, and laughed her laugh,
and went her way before we knew
how little of her we could get
before the shadow long hopes hid:
it was supposed to matter, but
it doesn’t and
it never


Another Ex

A on again, off again, thing.

She was my longest love in many ways,
With us so often on, or off, again;
She was a part of each divergent phase
Of all the things I tried to, could’ve been

She called me once in quite a fevered state;
Her voice its magic worked on me in tolls;
I drove six hours – then we made love eight –
A fire burning on in glowing coals

But something about us just was not right.
The chemistry was there, and we could talk:
But our values were different, so in spite
Of all the good we had, I chose to walk.

We have stayed friends, and lately I can tell:
I’m just another ex to her, as well