A Dating Memory

I wanted to seduce her with my wit;
She started laughing at my clumsiness.
I thought, “I’ll let my style do the bit” –
Then knocked over the wine, and made a mess

She came towards me with a yellow towel,
And I no more my laughter could abate:
Then her eyes shone when I laughed at myself
And I had done enough
For a first


(“A Dating Memory” – 7-5-2015)

Fashion Sense

I tried to write what you had worn,
But then I had to strike it;
For fashion I don’t really get,
Except, I know I like it.

I’m kind of dumb that way, I think.
My eye just misses detail —
There’s, like, some jewelry and some hair,
And then my verbal (epic) fail.

I have a photograph right here.
And though I stare, and dawdle,
I just do not have fashion sense,
And I married a model —

So you have sense for both of us.
I love it, I imbibe it —
But I can’t really write it down,
For I cannot
Describe it

Angel Hair

I ask…

Angel Hair

I ask: who doesn’t love some angel hair?
And who’s not longed to eat it just like this?
I know what manners are, but think it fair
To point out (or else I would be remiss)
That eating it this way is perfect bliss.
Get you some angel hair tonight and learn —
You’ll soon be pasta point of no return

Blog Cabin

There once was a man from Montgomery
Who tired of all of the flummery;
And so he kept blogs
On his life made of logs —
That’s pretty much it. Just a summary.


(“Blog Cabin” – 2-12-2016)

I used to write tons of these when I was like, twelve. I should find them.
Reading this again, maybe I shouldn’t find them.

Random Limericks – or – Words Hate Me

Already I’m think I’m in trouble
This limerick’s crumbled to rubble
Before a word spoke
My amphibrach broke
And couldn’t be found now by Hubble

= = = = =

A limerick, would be the best
A dactyl or an anapest
But I don’t recall
My meter at all
By now I’m sure you’re unimpressed

= = = = =

These poems are meant to be bawdy
And not full of rhymes that are shoddy
But these are so low
I think I will go
Pretend to be Paul Giamatti

The Jasmine Challenge

I’m so honored to be nominated.

[Hey everybody, I’ve been nominated by IMadeUpThisFictionalBlogger@Really.com to take the Jasmine Challenge! The rules are pretty simple: write way-too much poetry, and clutter up everybody’s reader on weekends and some weekdays. I’m so excited I was nominated! I’d like to thank members of the academy for making this possible; my mom and dad; my choreographer; and the girl who put extra banana peppers on my sandwich at Jimmy John’s last Tuesday. You all are the best!]

In real life, I am really dull.
I even bore myself:
A storage chest of trivia
And wide as a bookshelf.

I don’t use mirrors most the time;
I hate the way I look —
I cannot fix a broken thing,
Nor can I paint or cook.

If your grandad had been a walrus,
That’s your basic me —
It’s fiction writing I would do,
But get reality —

And really, I am just some dude
Among the crowd of faces,
The drop within the ocean, who
Once gone, leaves no real traces –

So I make up awards and write.
Write poems, just like this one:
To live in surreality –
It’s now
My life’s
Real mission