The pattern of the waves and wind…

… The people on the beach out there …

The pattern of the waves and wind
The people on the beach out there
The choices I cannot rescind
And all the memories I’ve yet to share…

The life that I have now is good
But scarcely free from care and grief
I’d lighten your load if I could
We’re here to do that – such is my belief…

I feel her fingers on my hair
As lightly they express her love
Why do I always search out there
When what I have is all that I’d dreamed of?

another great wall

in disrepair, neglected,
emptied out of much of value,
a part of town where you and i
don’t go

in corners made for sitting,
and in windows stark and glaring,
a couple of chip wrappers and
some blow

in kindergarten, once, there were
some gold stars and a ribbon,
a child disremembered
and abjured

in disrepair, neglected,
emptied out of much of value,
beside a wall where nothing is
assured

except that minutes
have to be

endured

i wrestled in my bed with sweat and demons
as madness tore into my febrile mind
the burning from inside that brooks no pretense
the loneliness that’s always there to find

across a rope-bridge chasm you were staring
amid a blaze of red and wild face
but no amount of shouting broke the silence
and no amount of running closed the space

but how your look seared into me with loathing
the river down below was all afire
i longed to bring you back and home to safety
but felt the platitude in my desire

in vision-tangled sheets i woke to humming
the sound of air-conditioned ambience
i rose to splash my face and drink some water
with little hope and little left of sense

i stare now at a screen that sits impassive
i’m not sure who i am or how i feel
it’s strange that after all the things i’ve been through
it’s only in my dreams
that life seems
real

Solace

Warning: Something vaguely like adult content.

They both were drunk when they had sex.
It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t great —
She woke to wonder what came next,
And took a walk to contemplate.

Her temples throbbing, in the mud,
She treads a road that’s headed east;
But takes some solace in the thought
That everything still works
At least

Empty Room Monologue

There is an emptiness at night
That morning’s never seen:
The throbbing pain of words we say
But do not really mean.

There is a slope, a precipice,
And safety is so fleeting —
I wish I was a tourniquet
So I could stop the bleeding —

But gnawing at my very soul
And eating of my ghost
Is all that I have said and done
To those I love the most.

So tell me now, you empty room:
What all is next to follow?
And how can guilt so fill me whole
And yet I feel
So hollow?

Keep Going

It’s 3 a.m., your eyes are white
Keep going, just keep going
Another day without a night
Keep going, just keep going

Tumultuous your dreams were tossed,
Where much is given, much is lost,
And money never covers cost
Keep going, just keep going

I look, and see her sleeping there
Get going now, get going
I stop and sit to stroke her hair
Get going now, get going

As early comes another day.
She sighs, and then she turns away,
I think, and hope, she’ll be okay
Get going now, get going

We do not know what is to come
Keep going, just keep going
And where and what will heal the numb
Keep going, just keep going

But life is this: one dare, one chance,
One spotlight on a single dance,
And one way we must all advance,
Though when, there is no knowing –

Keep going, then.
Keep going, just

Keep

Going