She is an honest model in
That world of vain display –
Made up to pose for pictures
Off in Paris or Calais
She’s treated like a cufflink
By the men she sometimes dates;
Rich guys who she makes look good
Like their Benz’s or estates
She wants real love and passion,
Not to be some work of art:
My fear is that she’ll settle
For all money and no heart
Because she think that’s normal
For the people in her biz;
She’s trapped inside the limits
Of who she’s long thought
She is
all this perfection;
all this night and food and wine –
are you really here?
is this even possible?
and when will i know for sure?
Her went to kiss her on the cheek
But found her lips instead;
And that was hours and hours ago
Before they got to bed
They were not on a date, he thought,
For all they were was friends:
He went to kiss her on the cheek
And got back
Dividends
So back when I was first divorced
I was invited to
A friend’s house for some kind of thing
A party or a do
And I was talking to this girl
When much to my surprise
I looked to see her staring, staring
Straight into my eyes
It had been years since I had seen
Much eye contact I guess;
Her flirting quite unnerved me as
An unexpected stress
I guess I should say “pleasure” and
Not “stress” – the proper phrase –
For I remembered flirting
Once my mind snapped into phase
She told me I should call her, which
I did, although bizarre:
But I was nervous ev’ry time
She got into my car
I was out of my element
My heart was palpitating:
For skydiving or base jumping
Is easier
Than dating
We sat upon my stupid couch
And I said dumb and stupid things,
Then we got up to take a walk
Down to the waterside
I sweated like hothouse pig,
(I had that awful mullet then)
I showed you where I used to live
That spacious double-wide
I stepped in mud, oh, ankle deep;
I said I’d cook, but had no food —
Yet somehow, you enjoyed yourself
With this lone, laggard, loser dude
You somehow saw behind the mess,
That I had tried my very best;
For you had known the other side,
And loved a charming narcissist
But clumsy: that was what I was,
And how I am still, to the core:
But love sees what the eyes can miss,
And makes us into something more
Then ever I thought I could be
Back when I was a loathesome slouch
Who spoke his dumb and stupid words
Upon that lovely,
Stupid
Couch
Photograph by Kenneth McCall, Dreamstime.com
He walked her to her door and she
Was reaching for her keys;
He was unsure of his next move –
The moment seem to freeze —
But hey, it was a first date, and
I won’t spoil the surprise:
Just know, he did the right thing, and
He’s just fine in
Her eyes
And so I spent the next 12 months
Behaving in this way:
With every girl I’d meet I’d have
Almost nothing to say
Which made me strangely popular
More than I’d ever been;
I was never myself, but thought,
“Girls don’t want that from men.”
But suddenly, I met someone
Who did the same to me;
I called it out – a tactic –
And she smiled that I could see
“Most men like to talk about
Themselves, I’ve always found.”
And it was hard to argue
For her reasoning was sound
I mentioned that I usually
Found women just the same.
And both of us were laughing
That we both played the same game
And suddenly I liked her
And I think that she liked me
And she told me the truth
And got my fullest honesty
She was a stunning actress
With a fabulous career;
And the few weeks she was around
I always was sincere
And showed my human weakness,
But – I loved that time back then;
And swore I’d never ever
Be a fake with girls again
POSTSCRIPT
Alas, for frail humanity
At least, alas for mine:
I did the best I could, I guess,
And most the time was fine
But it’s hard to be honest, when
You struggle, image-wise:
And when the person that your with’s
More comforted
By lies
It was a coolish summer night
A bunch of us outside:
This friend who had a houseboat
And a lot of beer supplied
And I was kind of quiet.
Don’t know why – just being cool –
When she came up to talk to me
She worked days at the school –
And she was not much like the girls
That usually came my way;
And I was not much like myself
I had little to say
We drank, she did the talking;
It grew late out by the shore —
And I was still aloof, which seemed
To make her want me more
And I thought, “That’s what women want;
They want to do the work.
No wonder every girl I know
Is with some stupid jerk.
So I can be one too, I guess,” –
She moved in for a kiss –
“And really,” I thought, “really –
That is all there is to this?”
