Have you seen my jacket? It’s gotten cold out there

Yes, December has that feature

My, aren’t you in a sunny mood?

I just can’t believe this year is almost over. And that we have to go shopping

It’ll be fun!

Doing anything with you is fun. But crowds, not so much

Yeah, well. You hated crowds before Covid. You kind of pioneered social distancing

You say that like it’s a bad thing. Where are we starting?

Kohl’s. My mom is looking for a zip-front fleece

I get fleeced every time at Kohl’s, so that seems logical

Hey, look, Kohl’s has very reasonable prices. And I have coupons!

Are those still a thing?

Yes, my husband-who-majored-in-unawareness. They are just virtual now

I know about some stuff. I have a thirty-four foot receipt I got at CVS yesterday

Meaning, you don’t realize you could actually cash some of that stuff in?

You can?

Oh, boy. Anyway, we can shop for your brother and sister while we’re out.

What about your sister?

Already handled. We got her a very prestigious set of placemats.

And those are also still a thing?

This is why we have to get you out of the house every so often. Yes, people still eat meals at tables

Well, I’ve already learned enough popular anthropology to last a month. Can we just call it a day?

Um, no. We also have to drive up to Warm Springs.

Okay, now I’m actually interested. Who do we know who needs like real craftsmanship?

We have a niece and a nephew

We do, indeed. Okay, I’m down

Do you remember when we were dating and we —

— went on that impromptu trip to Warm Springs? I don’t think that’s a thing I would likely ever forget

No, I imagine not. I think of it often

Yeah, well. It’s hard to believe the stuff we used to do

And still occasionally do

True. While we’re up there, do you want to eat at the Bulloch House?

Sure. It should be lunch time by then. I’m glad you are warming to the day

Well it is called Warm Springs

Oy.
I finished "Adam Bede"

Wasn't it amazing?

It was, but... wow.
That story was sad on
Any number of levels.

I think the author 
Referred to it as 'realism'

I can see that.
It was beautiful, though.
I'm surprised that book
Isn't more famous than it is

I don't think most
Modern tastes care
For Eliot's writing style

Yeah, I know, she both
Shows AND tells.
But I find her interjection
Of her own voice to be
Surprisingly honest.
I mean,
Authors have opinions, and
We can almost always
Tell what they are.
Why not just say them?

That's a great point

So... what was it
About this book for you?

Okay.
I'm twenty-one years old,
Going into my last year
In college.
It's summer semester, so --

-- there were fewer people
On campus?

-- exactly.
The copy of the book I had
From our school library
Was an old bound book,
Much like the one you have.
I'd read it outside, everyday,
In the afternoons, after class.

You still remember
The setting, eh?

I do.
Any time a book
Totally transports you,
It's a memorable experience.
And I was fascinated
By how different
The world of the novel was,
Even though --

-- it was relatable.

Bingo.
And, at that age,
I could really relate to Seth.

Ohh.
Sweetheart --

I know, it's silly

No, it's...
You really saw yourself as
A loser, didn't you?

I was a loser.
Not at all like I am now.
At any rate,
I thought his was the life
I was destined to live.

But then I came along

Yeah, well.
That's my favorite part
Of every story.
So the book was beautiful,
The setting was memorable,
And I saw myself in it,
Albeit in small supporting role.

That book was very disturbing,
In parts.
I don't think our modern world
Is nearly as forgiving
As she or her characters were

We could stand to be more forgiving

People still believe in forgiveness,
But often, only when it involves 
They themselves being forgiven.

That is a very unsymmetrical
Arrangement

Which is why
It always fails

You sound like you've been having
A good time in here

I just got off the phone
With my sister and the kids.
She is insane,
And the kids are just like her

Yeah, she is. 
But she's a sweetheart.
Are the kids doing
Virtual school?

No, they are actually
Physically at school.
Although there are protocols.
It's been good for them.

What were you all
Laughing about?

She's telling me a story
About how willful Ellie is.
Eight years old,
Going on eighteen

I love Ellie

Oh, and she loves you.
Particularly since 
Her father's not around much,
Anymore

I don't really understand
Little girls.
Or big ones

Well, at least you're honest
Anyway, her description of all
Of the dramatics Ellie pulls
Sound a lot like how we were
As girls.
At least, with mom

Like?

Hands on hips.
Arms crossed.
"Hmmph!"
Flouncing off

Flouncing?
You guys flounced?

Oh, we were specialists.
I did the 200 meter
Freestyle flounce in high school.
Undefeated

And your sister?

Eh, she could flounce too.
Nose so high in the air
It left prints on the ceiling

I didn't realize
It was such an art form

Being overly-dramatic
Isn't a skill just anyone can master.
It takes strength of will,
And more concentration on form
Than you might think

I didn't really do drama,
Or melodrama.
I bypassed all that, and
Went straight to hysterics

You stayed there
For some years,
Didn't you?

Why yes I did

You should Facetime the kids some time

How?

Just Facetime Meredith.
She'll put you on with the kids.
They could use a few laughs.
They are too young to laugh at flouncing

And my humor is perfect for children
Five and eight?

Well, isn't it?

Yeah it is

You are just... beautiful.
Do I tell you that?

Sometimes

Well I think it all the time.
Whatcha up to?

Right now, I am reading about... fennel

I have no idea what that is

It's a vegetable used in cooking

Okay. And why are you reading about it?

I had some a few months ago, and
I kind of liked it.
So I thought I'd find out more about it

What does it taste like?

Kind of like... licorice,
Except... better

I like licorice, so,
That wouldn't be a problem for me

And I don't. But I liked this

Have you ever heard of horehound?
Like, used in candy?

Of course.
I love all the mint family plants.
Although I don't know that it's used much anymore

My brother HATED horehound candy.

Really? It's so unlike him to have
Extreme opinions.
He probably needs to eat more fennel

Now I'm hungry.
I'm not sure I want fennel, though.
Look, my brother isn't THAT much odder than
Your sister

Ahem.

Ok, he is, but still

When's the last time you talked to him?

Oh, wow, um... three months?
And that was by text

You should call him.
All this isolation is hardest on the introverts, 
In some ways

How do you figure?

When you don't get a lot of contact,
You really rely on what you get.
And he's not the type to reach out
To any one else

I'll call him, then.
Good idea.
Well, enjoy the fennel research

You know I will

Here is your coffee.
Do you use all these colors?

No, I just smash them around
To express my frustration.
Oh, good, this coffee is perfect.
Thank you

I’m going to go out for a drive,
If it’s okay with you

Sure.
I’ll be here, swearing at this canvas.
Don’t you usually watch football
On afternoons like this?

I’ll be listening in the car.
Football by a local team’s radio coverage
Is the best. They make no effort
At objectivity

As opposed to?

Good point.
I should say,
“They make no effort to feign objectivity
In support of a publicly stated
(Rather than tacit)
Goal”

Who do you cheer for again?

The Falcons.
But they are struggling.
They haven’t won a game.
The owner fired just about
The entire staff last week.

But you will be listening, anyway?

Of course!
But I didn’t figure my screaming at the TV
Would help you paint.
So I’ll do that in the car.

Well, have fun

Cheering for the Falcons
Isn’t exactly fun.
It’s more like penance

How is it going?

Ugh. I hate painting

What are you working on?

An ulcer, right now

I don’t get how the process works

It isn’t… working

I mean, how you transfer what you see
In your head to the canvas

If I could do that, I wouldn’t be frustrated

Does anything help?
Could I bring you a bagel or something?

From Panera?
Yes, please.
You know the kind I like.
And coffee:
Madagascar Vanilla Almond Cold Brew

What?

Madagascar Vanilla Almond Cold Brew

Madagascar?
Like, off the coast of Mozambique?

Off the coast?
It’s not like you can see it from there

So Panera sells
Mid-Indian Ocean coffee?

Western Indian Ocean, technically

Is it just me,
Or do we have weird conversations?

Both

Alright, I’m off to get you
A bagel and some exotic coffee

Thanks.
Pick me up some inspiration while your out

Maybe they’ll have some
Diego Garcian Chocolate Walnut Inspiration for sale

I’d take it

You look happy

I am happy
Although I am not quite sure why

I’m sure I don’t need to remind you, but…
There is a lot of misery in the world.
It is unseemly to be happy.
Or so the thinking goes

And yet, I am unmoved.
Still happy

Well, okay.
I see there is no dissuading you

Yeah, moods are kind of a thing

I had a mood once

Um.. excuse me. You have moods constantly

I do not

You have more moods than
Baskin-Robbins has flavors

Okay, well maybe.
How did this become about me?
You are the one who is unreasonably happy

Happiness is neither reasonable or unreasonable.
It simply is

Or isn’t

Or isn’t, yes.
So I can’t be unreasonably happy

The point is conceded.
However, you are, by your own admission,
Unexplainably happy

That is true, I am

But there must be an explanation

Unexplainably happy has no explanation,
By definition.
So I win again

Winning these semantic arguments.
That’s what you are happy about.
I figured it out

No, I was already happy.
Although it certainly hasn’t
Subtracted any happiness

I want to be unexplainably happy, too.
Instead, I’ll settle for being
Understandably disgruntled

You are disgruntled?
Someone has removed your gruntling?

Unexplainably AND unreasonably, yes