Diaries of Another Summer (9)

I thought I’d been in love, but then
They all just fell away;
The summer, full in clarity,
My life: a farce, a parody
And full of rue by day,
And full of rue by day.

I thought I’d seen the truth, but then
The clouds came crashing down:
The summer blazing, burning bright,
Alone and lonely in the night,
A swimmer prone to drown,
Yes, liable to drown.

For many people give us joy,
And many give us sorrow;
But very few give reasons we
Should love again tomorrow.
We pass the days in indolence,
And years go flying by:
We find that love seems out of reach,
Although we yet may try —

I thought I’d been in love, but then
I realized for sure:
That love’s a growing, living thing:
A song we have to learn to sing,
That comes with no brochure,
No map, and no brochure.

Diaries of Another Summer (8)

She was eighteen, I was fourteen,
All I had were dreams;
Damn, those were confusing visions,
With recurrent themes —

I felt tortured every night.
I’d try to get some rest:
There she was, then, on the beach,
And I just felt possessed.

Images and strange new feelings;
Latency and double dealings,
Sonia smiling down at me,
That was perfect misery.

Fear that follows like a sickness,
Puberty’s a sorry business.
Tortured visions, out of reach —
Sonia, smiling, on the beach.

I was fourteen, reaching desperate;
I was short on clues —
Damn, it was bewildering,
Although, back then, ’twas news

How nights were made for boys to suffer
Sights they can’t avoid:
Then our awkward first essayings,
Girls just get annoyed.

Images and strange new feelings;
Hours, looking up at ceilings,
Sonia smiling down at me,
That was perfect misery.

Fear that follows fear with swiftness,
Puberty’s a sorry business.
Tortured visions, out of reach —
Sonia, smiling, on the beach.

Teenage passions poured in streams:
Sonia, laughing, in
My dreams

Diaries of Another Summer (7)

We met a thousand years ago,
One day in hot July;
And soon, we two were lovers.
I couldn’t tell you why
She went for me; but as for her,
She just made my heart smile,
I loved her, then, for years, but only
Dated her awhile.

I saw her several years ago,
As beautiful as e’er:
And my heart sang the same old tune.
It really wasn’t fair:
But then, I’m happy as I am,
And I’m not really searching:
But old love: it’s a mystery,
And hearts are always
Lurching

Diaries of Another Summer (6)

Rich lady on the terrace,
As bored as bored can be;
She looks around for something new
And happens to see me

A twenty-something student,
Just trying to earn a wage,
Who learns a thing that schools don’t teach:
The value of
Some age

Diaries of Another Summer (5)

His girlfriend had a sister,
She’d join us at the pool;
That might have been pool water,
Or might have been his drool

I watched them every weekend,
And saw the slide begin;
It’s bad to mix up summertime,
Hot sisters, and
Sloe gin

Diaries of Another Summer (4)

Helios burned away the fields,
And tore away my mind;
I followed her up to the Emerald Watch
But she was not inclined

She longed for a man in a uniform
Who was now across the seas:
I followed her up to the Emerald Watch
With a new kind of heart

Disease

Diaries of Another Summer (3)

A jealous obsession

A type of hunger

What she was to me —

 

An unhealthy time

For my attitude,

A heart’s insolvency

 

I watched from a distance

Wanting her

In the manner men are prone

 

Then froze in surprise

When she called my name

The first time we

Were alone