Idol Memories

Boys have their idols
Same as girls
But without the
Psychosexual tinge, perhaps
If my random sampling
Of answers to this prompt is
Any indication

(I remember being
Hopelessly jealous and
Resentful of the guys
All the girls went
Crazy for —

I became convinced that
While girls talk about
How shallow and
Appearance-conscious
Boys are, girls’ tendency
To observe Orphic
Fertility rites over
Rock Stars
Showed a remarkable
Lack of self-awareness)

Because my tastes
In music were decidedly
Unpopular, I idolized
Classical pianists
And composers that
No one I knew liked

I idolized a guy named Doug
Because my crush of many years,
Kathy
Liked him and not me
So I wanted to be him

I idolized older piano students,
Writers,
Astronauts,
And, most of all,
Boys that girls actually liked

I hated being a teen
Because I was bad at it

Yearning to emulate those few
Who were successful at being a teen;
Or, successfully survived it

Not a cheery memory,
But, I think,

An honest one

—– —– —–

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3 Thoughts to “Idol Memories

  1. Teen years in a capitalistic society are probably the worst, perhaps especially if one’s folks are not non-capitalists by choice. Along with all the rude awakenings, unbearable arrows, and a chasm to ford into adulthood, I don’t know how most of us make it through those years intact.

  2. Hmm.. I guess one could say so, but I was taking a collective sampling from many kids amid numerous generations and thinking about the problems of teens in other lands — some would be very different from our own.

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