I see you brought your shopping cart,
It’s gonna be right useful –
To carry all your paper towels,
Your Tide, and Metamucil —

I’m glad that you appreciate
The finer things life brings:
So leave your cart right by the sign
And welcome to Palm Springs

There is a lot to do, and you
Are bound to be excited
By how fast fashions change, and how
We shun the poor benighted

But it’s just preservation.
Life is tough, it has its stings —
But I see you’re the type we like,
So welcome to Palm Springs

There isn’t any pathway to the sky —

There isn’t any way we’ll go awry —

The sun is going down, and we
Still have to do some shopping;
You’ve joined our little circle now,
And there can be no stopping

For we’re the finest people here
With all the finest things —
And you can never leave us now:
Hey, welcome to
Palm Springs