i saw it happen, once
when he decided not to care

it was the only way for him
to handle expectation

so sweet and young and open
showing all of it and loving, then
a wall, a cipher, blank
as living glass

i saw it happen, twice
when he decided not
to be a boy

the trouble’s all because of boys

every bit of it

and each of them

even those who
weren’t there for it

hear it
time

and again

and now the angry words pour out
in streams and torrents
washing down the city streets and gutters and
in broken limbs and unwrapped condoms kept in
empty wallets chosen carelessly by those who
care less every day

the painting shows the smoking men
boys break
a time to sit fat, ruling

but my heart sees

the bruised and dying
told, as always,
“it’s your job to die” —

for girls are wonders

women are the universe

and boys
 
 
are
 
 
 
expendable

It’s funny how the all-at-once’s come,
  and then they go —

It’s like she’s lived a thousand lives,
  each time the universe
  comes crashing down
  on what she thought she knew —

For all she has to give’s a universe:
  filled up with galaxies of hope,
  with stars of love,
  and planets of her plans
  for whole new worlds and
  crystal
  salutations —

A thousand million billion
  types of feelings all
  get centered on
  anxieties for all she should
  but fears she will not
  do —

But all at once has happened
  and before —

For many lives of tears of shades of love
  she has transpired to carry
  vast beyond imagining
  and smaller than the recess of
  her heart
  that beats forever now in
  broken time —

For time is breaking, breaking, like
  an egg upon the edge of
  iron pans and
  irony —

And love comes lonely calling in
  the night of her new parliament
  across a visage cast into
  the sea
  and the
  autocracy —

And stirs the shadows of
  a bit of time,
  a twist of lime,
  and asks her
  why so many twice
  her heart has twice
  somewhere between real girls and nice

And all at once