He’d sought the company of a young woman who clearly wasn’t interested. He asked me what he should do.
Me: That’s easy. Give up and move on.
Him: But I think she might be the One…
She’s not. Take it from me.
How do you know?
I’ll answer you, but first, let me ask you a question.
Would you rather have a beer or a vaccine?
A beer. Preferably more than one to go with these hot dogs.
Don’t know you know what’s good for you? I think you should quit eating hot dogs and drinking beer, and get a full panel of vaccines instead.
I don’t give a rat’s ass what you want. It’s my life, I’ll do as I please.
Ah, got it, sorry. Now, as to your question – how I know she’s not the One…
Because, you stupid prick, she’ll decide what she likes and doesn’t like, not you.
Are you calling me a vaccine?
No, because those have actually helped people.
I’d be willing to buy her beer…
Shots, more likely, and we already established she doesn’t want those any more than you did.
So I should leave her alone and find someone else?
Even though I have strong feelings for her.
Especially because you have ‘strong feelings’ for her. Because that’s crazy – you don’t even know her.
Has this ever happened to you?
Yes. I’ve been offered more “turn down” service than a fancy hotel.
Fine. I’ll see what else is out there.
Good man. Give the poor girl a break.
You make me sound like some kind of stalker.
You basically were becoming one, dude. So… DON’T DO THAT.