Commercial Foods: Chef Boyardee


Imagine, if you will, an eighteen-year-old
Back in 1980
Unable to cook so much as an egg.

Imagine him off at college
With a budget of, oh, roughly
Three dollars
Trying to make himself something to eat.

Now imagine a boy born in Italy
Way back in 1897
Who emigrated from there in 1914
And who spent time in New York and Cleveland
Before opening a factory
And developing war rations during WWII.

A real italian
Who really immigrated here
Who was a real chef
Who mass produced his real recipes
To feed
Real idiots like I was.

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