I Tried To Dance


I tried to dance,
And hoped that you would notice me;
I tried to sing,
But you had left the room

Tried to excel,
And hoped you would approve of me –
I learned some tricks
You never stopped to view

I wanted you to see me and
To like me;
To talk to you, accepted
Without qualms

I just wished that you noticed
And you loved me –
I wish that you were more like
Other moms

(“I Tried To Dance” – 10-17-2014)

The New Girl

I’d see them chatting after lunch;
They’d pass each other in the hall -
He was a handsome sort of guy,
And she was very shy -

Sometimes I’d catch her watching as
He and some other guys played ball;
He was a local sort of star
That she watched from afar.

One summer day, right after work,
We had a thing down at the park,
A barbecue and get-together
Just to mine the weather –

The beer was flowing freely, and
She stood resplendent, with her friends,
When he stopped by to check in some
She thought the time had come –

But just right then, the world turned wrong,
She watched his eyes as his head turned -
A new girl: and to her surprise
Her guy only had eyes

For someone she had never seen.
He walked away to get two beers;
And she looked stricken dumb, as blankness
To her eyes would come

So, she drank fiercely most the night,
But her friends - they looked out for her,
At some point, she stopped glancing there:
At the now-friendly pair –

   I saw all this, and took it in.
   I read it all as off a page --
   That much emotion I recall
   As though ‘twas yesterday --

   The love that never came to words,
   The heartbreak no one ever knew,
  ‘Cause some "new girl" just wandered in
   And took it all


The Heart Goes Missing

When all the towers you could build
Come tumbling to the ground,
When all the music you have loved
Becomes just so much sound

When all that you held precious is
Dismissed for someone new,
The heart goes missing for a time
There's nothing you can do

Instead of heartbeats, there's an aching
Constantly, inside;
In lieu of courage, emptiness,
Where once there was some pride

They say the heart is broken, but
There's madness in its place:
I'd say the heart goes missing;

Filling up

The space

What Must Be Said

So I don’t want to think it anymore.
And I don’t want to say what must be said –
For nothing ever will be as before,
There’s no more watering a plant that’s dead

You went to where you felt you had to be.
For I was not enough for you to flaunt:
And so you found someone who was not me;
A job that, daily, fewer people want

I’ve reached the edge of language in my course,
It’s time to pack it in and end the show;
I cannot sing some song of ‘sweet remorse’,
To try to leave with pride
Is all
I know

Old Poem, Age 24 (Edited)

[I had completely forgotten this poem and the event it refers to. At the time, I would not have thought that possible, so hard did it hit me. – Owen]

One night, you gave yourself to me
  the next night you had gone away
I do not understand
I do not understand at all

I still remember how it felt
  to be right next inside of you
I do not understand
I do not understand at all

The wine the bath the touch the kiss
  the hours spent in all of this –
The feel of you the sound of you
  the taste of your intention

One night I do not understand
I still I do not understand
The wine I do not understand
I do not understand

Old Poem, Written Age 28

It’s crazy, really, but still true:
I would do anything
To be with you

You are already here, I know:
But still, I need to prove
That this is so —

With gifts and time and everything:
With paintings that I paint
And songs I sing

It’s crazy, really, way too much —
That you should be so close that we
Can touch

The years I thought I’d left behind
Have torn my heart, and broken up
My mind

But if I could, I’d give you more –
What’s that?
Too much?
No, please don’t use that