I was sixteen.
I’d just been dumped
By a girl I wasn’t actually with
And who was using me
To get something else
The beautiful neighbor girl
From across the street
Had tried to tell me
This would happen
But I didn’t listen
I knocked on the neighbor girl’s door
Because I needed a friend who understood
And we talked out in my front yard
As the night grew darker
And the wind blew colder
This neighbor, who was a stunning beauty
[Actually, she still is. You know, Facebook]
As we finished our conversation
Impulsively kissed me.
It was incredible, my first kiss.
Why, I’ll never know.
It certainly never happened again.
I made as regular a practice as I could
After that time
Of kissing girls
And that kiss was one of the top four, all-time
At least, until I met my wife
When beautiful neighbor girl (now woman) and I
Trade pleasantries online
I think about that night
I don’t know why she did it
But when she kissed me
She lifted my spirits
In such a way that
They’ve never really come down again
(“Remembering My First Real… Kiss” – 8-7-2014)
The last kiss that we had was by my car,
Two nights after our most romantic night.
My first true love became my first big scar;
We broke up without so much as a fight.
She was away at school where she then met
A guy; and love had forced her to admit
That his was love like none she’d known as yet.
So she hung up the phone. And that was it.
I sat there brooding, my father inquired;
I told him why I looked so out of whack.
He said, “At least she was honest with you.
And not cheating on you behind your back.”
I sat there shameful, for I didn’t know
He known of my dalliance all this while:
I felt my foolish anger start to go,
My frown of rage became a sheepish smile.
He said, “My son, now that’s an honest girl.
She treated you with honor, not with stings;
I hope one day, as you go through this world
You will prove yourself worthy of such things.”
Oh worthy I was not – not at that age.
For I was fickle, false and just a mess.
My first real breakup hurt only my pride
The love had died by my own selfishness
When I last wrote about her
It was at my first real dance;
But soon, she was my first real love,
My very first romance –
And all that lovers always feel
We also underwent —
The crystal pure elation
That we could not help but vent –
And it was like real happiness
Was something new to me;
When she was anywhere nearby
I was in ecstasy –
But, strange in thinking back, how much
Of heartache we went through;
Of all the infidelity,
The cheating we’d each do –
Our love was real, though. Very real.
Although we grew estranged;
The love between us still remained —
It is that “us”
I was less nervous getting married
I was less nervous speaking in front of a crowd of 5,000 people
I was less nervous going into military training
This was serious business.
This was a High School Homecoming Dance
She was breathtaking
Emotionally, mentally, physically
And from everything I’d read and observed
I was going to need my breath
In order to dance
Something I’d never done
The thing about ignorance:
How to get started at a dance
How to dance fast
How to dance slow
How not to look like an unusually dorky jellyfish
So, I did what I’ve always done
I told her
We had just arrived
Sitting at a table with friends
And I said to her
“I’ve never danced in my life
I’m not sure what to do.”
She told me
Watch what other people do
No one really cares
So after more nervous moments
We got up and headed to the dance floor
In every society
At the most self-conscious point in a person’s life
You are introduced to the most embarrassing activities
Is another example
Of God’s sense of humor
But I found myself doing it
I found myself enjoying it
I really enjoyed watching her
When we got to a slow dance
I might just actually love this dancing thing
There on the dance floor
Surrounded by classmates whose opinions terrified me earlier that evening
I forgot everything
We watched the clouds roll in that day
Cross-legged in the sand;
We heard the distant thunder
Sitting huddled, hand-in-hand –
Until the rain was on us,
Then we kissed and up we rose;
Ran in the rain to my place
Where we shed our sodden clothes –
Before, we’d been “long-distance”,
So then this weekend was it —
We’d spend the time together, and
See just how well we fit –
The waves were high and crashing
In the sea right near my place;
I felt her warm breath on me
As I touched her still-wet face –
Beneath the raging skies we burned
And boiled, desperately —
And on-and-off, back on again
And oh, we tried, with all we had,
Our demons to outrun:
The storm was all around us, though –
In far more ways
[Alternately titled “Remembering My First Real… Long-Distance Relationship”]
I had a crush
A crush I had
When I was just a boy –
I wanted to
Impress her, so
I came up with this ploy…
I ordered from
A comic book
A Spider-Man wrist band;
So I could catch her
In my web
And bring her close to hand.
But when I got it
In the mail
It wasn’t quite the thing –
A suction cup,
On one small dart,
Tied to a flimsy string.
But still the picture
In my mind
I just to had to pursue:
‘Cause when I caught her
(And I would!)
She’d love me, this I knew.
So she walked by,
She walked by me,
One day, right after school –
As I stood ready
Not knowing fate is cruel.
I shot my dart
Like Cupid does
But I completely missed.
A hopeless nerd,
A loveless case,
With strings tied to his wrist.
For everyone to see
I was not
Nor would I ever be
To harsh real world
Are two extreme extremes:
The hobbies of
Teenagers might be
Our most desperate dreams
This might be a cinquain.
An autumn spent
In playing there at love
It isn’t a surprise it’s called