The effort made, the distance spanned In hope of giving some relief: We cannot wear another's grief, Nor hold their times within our hand. Though selfishness be rightly banned, And our tales placed within a sheaf, We cannot wear another's grief, Nor hold their times within our hand. That love was once, and ever is, Like Autumn falls upon the mind That struggles deaf, and dumb, and blind To where we find what never is -- It isn't good or great or grand, A touch like chill and wind-blown leaf: We cannot wear another's grief, Nor hold their times within our hand.
Starting out, we are gaining in powers, and we come to feel ownership: of the world, of life, of ourselves.
The rest of our years are spent learning to let go of all of that.
Our significance comes from our goodness, not our greatness. It does not matter that our names our not known by millions, if our good deeds, or good hearts, are known to a few. If our names were known by millions, it wouldn’t meant that we were. Known, that is.
Grief and sorrow are inevitable, because we are born with an innate sense of permanence, a that is a thing this life does not offer. There are many types of loss, and some of those go beyond any place words can travel.
When someone we love is gone, we suddenly realize just how stark the limits of imagination are. Reminiscing can recreate feelings, but it cannot recreate actual people.
I accompanied the two of them to the cemetery: a dark-haired young mother and her fair-haired four-year old son. They stood by her late husband’s grave almost perfectly still, the only motion being the light wind moving their hair.
I was standing off at a distance.
I was struck by the boy, who is a classmate of my granddaughter’s. I’ve seen him a handful of times this school year, and never known him to be still, even for a second. But his every movement on this occasion mirrored those of his mother.
His mother, who is hairdressing client of my daughter’s, held her son’s hand and seemed to be seeing something there I could not see.
Grief is always composed of things no one else can see.
(Other posts from this month’s community blog posting group.)