understood crush

so many years the crush went on
but one day somehow we were friends
and everything changed when i listened and heard

in my head she’d been lois while i was clark
the world stopped for us as we found each other
this made for beautiful stories i guess

but when we were talking i soon found out
that she was never meant to be
a secondary character in my story
but the heroine in her own

it’s weird when you realize that people liking you
really has nothing to do with you
it blew my mind at age fifteen, and still does
if truth be told

but this was my weird dichotomy
the part of me that wanted her wasn’t hearing it
the part of me that knew her understood
and i ended up at war with myself
a position i’ve been in ever since

for sexual desire is the creator of illusions
for both men and women
an illusion however we must live within
in order to live
at all

i wasn’t anything to her
if you asked her today
i doubt she’d remember my name

but she taught me a lot
about what it is to be human and

how awful it kind of is

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