The world of our pop culture was
A shrouded thing for me:
But much has changed, and I have gained
Perspective recently

I know about Kardashians,
And all the Jenners, too;
The many stars of Hollywood,
And just who’s dating who

Such knowledge, and my gaining it –
You might ask how this works:
It’s ’cause my local grocery store’s
Employing fewer clerks

The lines are now, oh, thrice as long,
With working clerks so few;
So I read all the magazines
With little else to do

My frozen foods have melted when
I get back home with them:
But on page 42 of “Us”
I will have found some gem

About how Channing Tatum
Keeps his love life so alive;
Weighed down with so much knowledge
It’s amazing I can drive.

But yet, the local manager,
He thinks it’s all just pranks,
When I bring up the longer lines,
And offer him my thanks.

But let him doubt. It still is true:
The wait might be obscene:
But it’s offset by what I’ve gained
From People
Magazine