Poem Written Age 19 (#2)

I think this stage is haunted

This stage
Of our lives where we often

Stand watching our own performance
Imagining that others do, as well

I am I swear music, I live it in my blood
But my blood and my hands don’t
Swear anything at the same time

But there are ghosts
Of the spirit of the time I believed
I could create what people

Would listen enraptured to –

But no one listens —

I think this stage is haunted


(I got a “C” on this poem when I turned it in for my College creative writing course. In the interest of fairness to my professor, below is the poem as it was then, prior to my editing it today; you can see I edit these old pieces extensively. I am trying by the editing process to recreate the feeling I meant for the poem to convey. – Owen)


I think this stage is haunted,
This stage here of our lives;
I stand watching my own performance,
And might just break out in hives.

I imagine others here, with
Knowing music is in my blood;
I am (I swear) the music, but
It isn’t very good.

The ghosts are still around, of back
When I thought all this very dear:
I swear this stage is haunted,
When there is just nobody here.

Published by

Beleaguered Servant

Owen Servant is an online poet working in a style that's been described as "compulsive". In real life, he is an actuary, because being a poet wasn't unpopular enough.

7 thoughts on “Poem Written Age 19 (#2)”

  1. I like the rework. The flow is better and the visual plays very nicely. The old poem is pretty good too, reminds me of some of Tom’s work over at Balderdash to Epiphany.

  2. I like both versions, and am leaning heavily toward the first. I’d have given that one an overall A, not least of all for its varied emotions!

      1. Ah, but if it had gotten an A, you’d never have gone back to it to see what a sweet kid is Owen.

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