…People always make fun of me, she said,
Kids in school said I was retarded
[oh, girl, i know i was there, i never spoke up for you i’m so sorry]
No boy has ever loved me, she said;
I don’t even have real friends –
Well, I have one.
My mom got me a spa membership, and
I made one friend, a woman at the spa
So, you’ve made a friend?
That’s good, I said,
Tell me about her
She’s older.
Her name is Daisy – she’s a teacher —
[my mom has made friends with her… of course.]
So you talk when you’re at the spa?
Yes, she also brought over
An extra workout mat I can use at home –
She’s really nice —
How’s work been going?
It’s lonely —
College cafeteria work – kids my age, but
They don’t even look at me
[i’m going to talk to you when i see you tomorrow! i will.]
Have you had any more thoughts about suicide this week?
Yes –
She said —
You have a lot to live for – you’re doing great…
Roger? — you sound kind of sad yourself,
The last few times we’ve talked.
Are you okay?
[i’m great, except i’ve hated myself from the moment i realized who you were…]
Roger?
Oh, no, I’m fine Kathy. I just
Wish sometimes I could help you more.
You all are there to talk to.
That means everything to someone like me —
Well —
I’m gonna go now…
Bye
[my god, i despise myself right now]
Deal.
I used to work the suicide hotlines. Organization called Samaritans.
That’s wonderful work.
In a four hour shift I would receive 20 to 30 calls and there were maybe 5 others taking calls. All calls were anonymous and you couldn’t call someone back to check on them. People would call in screaming, crying, ranting telling horrific stories not giving their name or info, then hang up. I had to quit after 6 months. I’d take all their stories home and couldn’t sleep nights.
I, too, made it about six months. I still dream about it.
Wow. This is an amazing piece! Working in mental health, this one hit me hard…on many levels.
Did you really know her? And were you really nicer to her in real life, afterwards?
Yes. And yes.
Fantastic – good for you 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 (and for her I guess)
You have to be a strong person to do it! Thank you for lending a helpful hand to others!
Hugs….