Original Poems

Why Can’t I Major In Sophistry?

I asked the question seriously
But all I got in return were answers like,
“You’re 52 years old,” and
“You aren’t even in college” —
Like that kind of stuff matters

I say that I want to major in sophistry

That should count for something

For the last 30 years of my life
I’ve been expected to reason soundly
To draw conclusions sparingly
And to subject all of my hypotheses to
The most ruthless and stringent testing

I predict the future for a living
As such, I’m expected to constantly monitor
And even criticize my own prediction methods
Which I have assiduously done

But sometimes…

Sometimes, I want to speculate wildly with no data

I want to use argument by repetition (argumentum ad nauseam)
As though I had actually proven something

I want to add two and two and get…

Promoted

But, I am not a vain person;
I do not think that I, an untrained amateur,
Could achieve this type of perfection by myself

I need a Sophistry Degree

You know, now that I think of it,
A number of people I have worked with
Have showed up at work their first day out of school
With all of these skills already honed

So there must already be a Sophistry Major

Let me do some checking…

… I’m back. It appears
Most of these people have something called an MBA

So apparently, the fine tradition of sophistry
Is being kept alive in MBA schools

The ancient Greeks knew a thing or two about the benefits of sophistry

They also knew what happens when you combine ignorance and hubris

= = = = =

Leftovers Sandwich

Today, publish a post based on unused material from a previous piece –a paragraph you nixed, a link you didn’t include, a photo you decided not to use. Let your leftovers shine!

(..)

2 thoughts on “Why Can’t I Major In Sophistry?

Leave a Reply