Stains

You think about it all the time,
But never have you said

The weight you carry in your heart,
The words within your head —

But in the morning, hard and gray,
You’ve known these secret pains

Then covered up the traces,
All the bruises and the stains.

To all the world you’ve shown a face
You’ve painted on for show,

But that’s become habitual;
Now, everywhere you go,

You just display the sunlight.
You’re a beacon mid the rains,

And no one sees the leakage,
Or the bleeding, or the stains.

It doesn’t matter anyway.
You know that’s how you think —

And when you seem on edge, I know
You’re really on the brink —

Why is it that you won’t come clean?
There really is no knowing,

But maybe you’ll see hope to know
Your stains at last

Are showing

Secret Crush

If you look carefully at the photo, I’m just slightly to the right of it.

Four different classes, four different desks –
Four different views across the room –
A smile, a look, a fleeting glance,
A few words exchanged waiting to go out the door –

And it’s secret — it’s a real secret —
No best friends know; no parents, no siblings –
Just furtive thoughts round about bedtime,
Just… wondering, looking over during a football game

At someone
Ensconced in a different crowd
Secure in ignorance

While a secret, faithfully kept

Dies, like his soul

A slow

  and lingering

    death

A Country Autumn – 2

The truth is this: our wishes and our dreams
Tell more about us than appearances.
What truly is, ensconced behind what seems:
The barriers, the interferences

That come from doing all our everyday
Must-dos, that hide away our woulds and wills,
The nose to wipe, the one-more bill to pay,
The moving shadows stored online as stills,

That though they maybe colorful to see
Are more about what isn’t there than not.
The yearning humans, viewed complacently,
For what they do to just keep what they’ve got.

Appearance, less a window than a door,
For all of us, who know, inside, there’s more

you never knew…

not even years later on facebook would i admit this to her … ever …

i never told you how i felt
before you went away;
although we’d sat in class together
several times a day

for you were dating someone else,
and i just let you be;
you never knew i thought about you
daily, constantly

you transferred in our junior year,
while i nearby did stay;
i saw you once or twice again
but never did i say

my feelings were a secret, which
i’ve held fast, faithfully:
i loved you in my way, but thought
you were too good
for me

Private Thoughts of the Award-Winner

You’re all applauding
That’s nice
But you don’t really know me, do you?

The people who know me best
They’re not that crazy about me

Oh, I want to be loved
But I want it my way
And my way
Seems to hurt other people

I’ll say my words now
I’ve been practicing
I was pretty sure I would win
Emotional pause, here
Tearful look in my eyes, there
I am in the business after all
But then, so are all of you

I fein emotions for a living
And this – this is just another role
Just another “adoring crowd”

But the applause will soon die
And the superstar will collapse into nothing but clothes
And this bitter, frozen hulk of a human being
Will go back home
To a house that dreads his return

Tori’s Secret

She hasn’t time to think.

Tori’s got a secret now,
Safe inside her head —
About the young bartender
Who is nightly in her bed

She lets him at night when
She is sure nobody sees:
He comes when e’er he wants to
And he’ll leave just when he’ll please

She hasn’t time to think about
If this is right or wrong —
He wants to play at lovers
And she wants
To play
Along