Diaries of Another Summer (8)

She was eighteen, I was fourteen,
All I had were dreams;
Damn, those were confusing visions,
With recurrent themes —

I felt tortured every night.
I’d try to get some rest:
There she was, then, on the beach,
And I just felt possessed.

Images and strange new feelings;
Latency and double dealings,
Sonia smiling down at me,
That was perfect misery.

Fear that follows like a sickness,
Puberty’s a sorry business.
Tortured visions, out of reach —
Sonia, smiling, on the beach.

I was fourteen, reaching desperate;
I was short on clues —
Damn, it was bewildering,
Although, back then, ’twas news

How nights were made for boys to suffer
Sights they can’t avoid:
Then our awkward first essayings,
Girls just get annoyed.

Images and strange new feelings;
Hours, looking up at ceilings,
Sonia smiling down at me,
That was perfect misery.

Fear that follows fear with swiftness,
Puberty’s a sorry business.
Tortured visions, out of reach —
Sonia, smiling, on the beach.

Teenage passions poured in streams:
Sonia, laughing, in
My dreams

Impotent

This isn’t what a man should be,

He feels it in her stare —

Although there’s no one else who knows

And just as few who care

 

He feels the weight of everyone,

As though they, too, gaze steady

Upon a man whose blood won’t flow:

It’s like he’s dead

Already

Inside One Male Mind

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I wish I wasn’t always thinking, thinking about sex

I wish I wasn’t always thinking, thinking about sex

It’s time to change the subject now, what will I speak of next?

I wish I wasn’t always thinking, thinking about sex