Clarity

It’s clear like a beat by a drummer: I’m totally wasting my summer. I know that it’s true, But there’s naught I can do — Sheesh. Clarity’s really a bummer.

Savannah Man

There once was a man from Savannah Who loved a good sub from Havana — He ate one each day, Then, when he tried to weigh, The scale said — “Oh, roughly — Montana”.

A Man from Atlanta

There once was a man from Atlanta Who said to me, “this is nirvana.” I’d say all time Those two words shouldn’t rhyme, But he thought that I was banana.   (“A Man from Atlanta” – 7-5-2017)

Clerics Shouldn’t Do Surgery

A worker in matters liturgical Was trying to do something surgical: He cut off his hand In a manner unplanned, Then had to wear one metallurgical   (“Clerics Shouldn’t Do Surgery” – 7-5-2017)

Blog Cabin

There once was a man from Montgomery Who tired of all of the flummery; And so he kept blogs On his life made of logs — That’s pretty much it. Just a summary.   (“Blog Cabin” – 2-12-2016) I used to write tons of these when I was like, twelve. I should find them. Reading … Continue reading "Blog Cabin"

Aesthetic

A man finds this woman magnetic, Says his admiration’s aesthetic, So he tells his wife Who says, “Ugh. Get a life. You men – all of you – are pathetic.”   (“Aesthetic” – 4-3-2016)

True Stories from My Past, Episode 1

So once, in this human terrarium, A guy asked a woman to marry him; She promptly said, “No.” And then turned to go, While he wished the ocean would bury him   (“True Stories from My Past, Episode 1” – 8-14-2016)

Trailer Park Limerick

I know that I’m often pretentious, Maintaining a tone that’s tendentious, But I’ve so much pride In my new double-wide, If difficult being abstentious (“Trailer Park Limerick” – 10-14-2016)