unraveling

they do not notice
everyday
the gradual unraveling

behind the smile
and the warmth
incessant worries traveling 

they’ll ask her some days
how she is
is that fatigue or is she bored

they can’t tell she’s
unraveling 
until the day she comes

unmoored

lying awake

she lies awake and wonders where it went
the glow that once surrounded who she was
for all the hidden talents she’s misspent
for random choices, lacking a “because”

in stillness now, she thinks of one mistake
her mother’s eyes with tears were dabbed and flecked
for all that woman’s faults, for goodness sake
she didn’t merit wanton disrespect

but now, her mother gone beyond her reach
the tears beset her eyes, and she feels shame
the lessons only loneliness can teach
when there is no one else that’s left to blame

but she’s no worse than most: it’s how she’s built
to lie awake awash in waves of guilt

a hundred-weight of dreams

a hundred-weight of dreams inside
a thousand-weight of fears;
some scattered days of hope within
and dozen months of tears —

a dread that’s born of emptiness,
a questioning of worth:
a plague of such anxiety
as rends the very earth.

the colors of accomplishment,
ineptitude, or both;
the tearing sound that signifies
both injury and growth —

the hotel with its silence, or
the spotlight with its cheers —
a hundred-weight of dreams inside
a thousand-weight
of fears


© Andriy Bezuglov | Dreamstime.com – Redhead girl with wet hair sits in the bath full of water with m

Deal

Deal with the feelings you have
I can’t
Deal with the feelings you know
I won’t
Then, let the morning be still
How long?
Let’s your anxieties float away
They’ve become frozen, attached
To you

Why are you boiling inside?
I’m not
What’s this refusal to see?
My way.
Frozen in attitude,
Roiling in grief,
This is the morning
Of modern days;
The mourning
Of who we are.

To feel and to reel
And to know that’s

The deal

Morning, Morning

Daily Nightmare

Morning, morning on my brain
Listing out my daily tasks;
Frantic, hectic, and insane
Questions that nobody asks

Morning, why the weight of care?
Time is fleeting as the tide;
Night, I hope to see you there
Safely on the other side

Morning, morning, will it be
This way each and ever day?
Is this just my destiny?
The toll I must forever pay?