The List I’d Suggest, Son

Value someone who is smart
Strive to be that way, as well;
Look for a good sense of humor
Life without laughter’s fair hell

You want someone independent
Each of you a person whole;
Someone strong, as life’s hard lessons
On the weak can take their toll

Finally, someone with passion
For their family – friends – desires;
And who wants someone who also
To these same five things aspires

I have not mentioned appearance
This might come as some surprise;
But the images around us
Rarely are much more than lies

If you find someone who’s smart and
Funny, independent, strong,
Full of passion, then be worthy:
Love there
Go wrong

Relationship Hangover

Two men pursued her who she liked:
One was nice; the other a jerk.
She asked me, then, for my advice:
I said, “The latter’s bad for you”

And so, she thanked me and she left.
She broke up with the nicer one;
Was with the jerk, until she found out
He was cheating on her

She called me up in tears, and asked:
How could he run around on me?
I said “He treated you like crap;
Almost as bad as you treat yourself”

There was silence, then she said,
“I counted on you for support.”
The phone clicked and she went away;
A place that she’s been since

It’s kind of like a hangover:
You knew that it would happen, but
You drank way too much anyway,
And blame me for
The pain

Unlicensed Life Expert

Now all day long, I give advice.
It’s free, but well worth twice the price;
Just come to me with all your woes:
I’m sure I can solve all of those.

For unlicensed life expert (me)
Will counsel you to sanity:
With bromides, and with pale cliches,
I’ll guide you through life’s twisted maze.

And though you might ask who the hell
Am I, to think that I can tell
You how to live, or who to date,
Believe me: I’m just really great.

So join our new proclivity
To dwell in positivity:
For no cents, you will get no sense,
And little