Here I am —
The antihero of my own story.
My life has setting, plot, and theme,
But I seem to lack
It’s possible I’m largely empty symbolism;
Except, my love of Pepsi is very real,
And was hinted at in the first act.
The dramatic climax of my story
Occurred recently, when
I was trying to figure out
Which of six thousand varieties
Of “Old Spice” to buy,
Which was a metaphor for man’s inhumanity
On the next episode,
I Sing The Body Mechanical
Electric is too expensive.