I guess would I say jealousy
Is worry about losing what you have;
As opposed to envy
Which is worry about not having what someone else has

So, I for many years was jealous
If whatever woman I was with
Sparked the interest of another man
Or seemed to spark said interest

My jealousy was
Ugly and uncomfortable and destructive
To these relationships
As frequently, I was merely
Witnessing conversations
That I had read meaning into

Then, I met the woman I am now married to

She doesn’t do jealousy
Doesn’t understand it
Doesn’t countenance it
Because, she says,
“Jealously is all the grief of a loss
Without that loss actually having to happen,
And we choose to experience it
Thinking it can stop the loss from happening.”

So it is a mistake
Both in terms of existence
(The loss hasn’t happened)
And action, as to attempting control someone else
(Controlling or attempting to control others is
Always a mistake in relationships,
At least ones we want to last long-term)

When I realized that
She had chosen to trust me
I realized the folly of jealousy
Not that I haven’t felt worried
About my own adequacy as a husband
But that I know now that
I can live my life
Both trusting

And being worthy of trust