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Memories from The Suicide Crisis Line

…People always make fun of me, she said,
Kids in school said I was retarded

[oh, girl, i know i was there, i never spoke up for you i’m so sorry]

No boy has ever loved me, she said;
I don’t even have real friends –
Well, I have one.
My mom got me a spa membership, and
I made one friend, a woman at the spa

So, you’ve made a friend?
That’s good, I said,
Tell me about her

She’s older.
Her name is Daisy – she’s a teacher —

[my mom has made friends with her… of course.]

So you talk when you’re at the spa?

Yes, she also brought over
An extra workout mat I can use at home –
She’s really nice —

How’s work been going?

It’s lonely —
College cafeteria work – kids my age, but
They don’t even look at me

[i’m going to talk to you when i see you tomorrow! i will.]

Have you had any more thoughts about suicide this week?

Yes –
She said —

You have a lot to live for – you’re doing great…

Roger? — you sound kind of sad yourself,
The last few times we’ve talked.
Are you okay?

[i’m great, except i’ve hated myself from the moment i realized who you were…]

Roger?

Oh, no, I’m fine Kathy. I just
Wish sometimes I could help you more.

You all are there to talk to.
That means everything to someone like me —
Well —
I’m gonna go now…
Bye

[my god, i despise myself right now]

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