I’m wearing this hat
For the rest of my life
What? Why?
Because the world is a meaningless
Nightmare of suffering.
And besides, my mom says
I’ve been looking old
You do not.
Besides, your mom is like
A fountain of
Inappropriate comments
I’m ancient.
This hat will cover my shame
Nietzche said
Shame was a sign of
Decadent servant morality
Yeah, well.
He was insane and
His sister was a Nazi
She also wore a hat.
Look, Wikipedia
You know I can’t see that
With this over my eyes…
My love,
You’re young.
You’re younger than young.
And your mom is …
What?
… wrong.
That’s the word.
Now please take the hat off.
I need at least three more
German philosophers
To weigh in first
Fine.
Kant says listening to your mom
Is not a categorical imperative,
Hegel says getting old is
Part of the phenomenology of the
Spirit of the world-soul,
And Schopenhauer says
Hegel was an idiot
Ugh.
It’s worth taking the hat off
So as to never hear you
Utter a sentence like that one
Ever again
Very wise