While rummaging…

While rummaging, he found 
  a favorite picture from the days 
  that love was new in purpose and 
  in countless other ways; 

He thought, then, with a smile 
  of how they used burn and smolder, 
  before he put that life away 
  in this 

  manila folder

Be Capricious

Be capricious, lavishly; 
Find a whim and set it free. 
Jump up on your favorite chair; 
Stay for far too long up there. 

Never mind your age or state; 
Play before it gets too late -- 
Be capricious, lavishly: 
Find a whim and set it free

The Model Life

The model life is funny, since 
It's largely made of standing 
And looking sad, or joyful, or 
Excited, or commanding -- 

Short moments being perfect, like 
A painting, or a carving, 
While spending the rest of your weeks and days 
In working out 

And starving

When Seasons Changed

When seasons changed, and I knew what it meant, 
The world and I were one in our intent. 
The clouds made sense -- their movement, and their grace -- 
And why a dog finds butterflies to chase 

Across a meadow seemed to me just right. 
An empty exercise more than a fight: 
The things we do because we're wired to 
That have no meaning, neither false, nor true. 

The voices in my head, then, weren't man-made, 
And pleasures came as circumstance arrayed 
Them; always wondering, and wonder-led -- 
The eye that waits becomes the soul that's fed. 

  But now a season might walk in my door, 
  And I don't seem to notice anymore

a secret paradise

within a secret paradise 
we gave our time and hearts 
to further our entanglement 
in duties, fits, and starts -- 
we touched the ceiling of the sky, 
that pure-blue canopy -- 
  so young, and so unwise, 
  in secret paradise. 

the shadows, once an aqua-green, 
gave way to dark and gray: 
we thought we'd never end, for there 
was always one more day -- 
but silence comes with separateness, 
and all eyes come to see 
  the time is just a slice 
  in secret paradise.

the memory now lives on, but only 
for a little while; 
our paths are merely leaves we move 
for all our wit, and guile -- 
but still, such colors as can make 
a sweet day come to be 
  are worth the timeless price 
  of secret paradise.

Why I Do This

I write to understand: 
Not myself, but others around me -- 
When I turn inward, I twist and twist 
Until I end up either in knots 
Or broken. 

So I look out to those available to me 
Of every age, type, and situation, 
And I seek to know their hearts: 
Our eyes are meant to see outward, 
And our souls to grow through contact. 

It doesn't make me feel better, 
But it is better to feel. 

Maybe we learn to appreciate, 
Maybe we learn to empathize. 
Maybe we seek to help, 
Maybe we seek a different viewpoint. 

This world is a trap 
These days are our playground 
This life is a tragedy 
These moments are all the beauty we have... 

But trapped in worrying about 
My own disappointments, I cannot 
See the world for the shadows I place
In front of my own eyes -- 

I write to understand 
What I can never know firsthand: 
What you feel, what he feels, 
How they feel, how she feels -- 
The furniture of the mind, 
The decor of the soul, 
Complete with the marks of spills and accidents, 
Things dropped, things lost, 
Pictures of people who've left this place, 
And hopes for better 

Always hopes 

For better

interconnected (xii)

"this was never anything," 
 he thinks, as he walks by: 
 "a cottage? or a shed?" 
 he wonders, turning, with a sigh, 

 towards the estate he purchased, and 
 the long walk to the mansion, 
 and shapes his thoughts to tearing down 
 to make room for 

 expansion

interconnected (xi)

a text that says that she is gone, 
the grandmother who raised him; 
a maid for country squires, who 
had children of their own 

a tiny house that she made warm, 
a smell of apples baking, 
a story as the rain fell loud, 
a king upon his throne -- 

but she died lone and far away, 
while he was chasing pleasure: 
to grow up poor with someone who 
gave to him her best treasure, 

the rich ones, with their perfect lives, 
could never know the feeling, 
of having nothing but pretend 
from his side of the ceiling 

but anger won't protect him, now, 
for life goes where it chooses, 
and nothing we run out of 
quite surprises like 

excuses