Sketches – 6

One of those mornings…

What’s wrong?

I don’t know

Tell me…
What you’re feeling

It’s one of those mornings where I try to workout and that doesn’t feel right and I try go through my painting ideas and none of them seem good and the cat is acting all distant and my mom called and wants me to help her sew and I hate sewing I’m no good at it and I’ve gained three pounds and my sister’s shower is coming up and I’m supposed to come up with game ideas but the showers I’ve been to people all play these embarrassing games and I don’t think they’re that much fun and you’ve been so crabby lately and I wonder if I should give up painting and go back to work at Doctor Reynold’s office because they’re short-handed there and I’m worried about our air conditioner it makes funny noises when you’re not here and I hate sewing

Cats always act distant to everybody

That’s what you got out of that?

Sketches – 4

How these things happen

Busy week coming up?

It doesn’t look too bad, but
Friday’s slammed

How is the painting going?

It needs more work.
I’ll show you later —
Have you seen the cat?
I can’t find the cat

We don’t own a cat

I mean, sure,
Nobody really “owns” a cat…

We have no cat.
No cat lives here.
If one did, you would
Call it by her or his name.
You would say,
Have you seen Belle? or
Have you seen Lee-Kwan-Dexter?
or whatever.

You are not naming our cat.

Are you saying you want a cat?

Why do you hate cats?

What are you talking about?
I love cats

You don’t see too concerned
That we can’t find ours

Let’s go down to the shelter
And see if we can find our cat

Now you’re talking

Sketches – 3

Bits of actual conversations

This is my new
“Model pose” –
What do you think?

It’s working on me

So you would buy a magazine with
… this …
On the cover?

I’d buy more than one

Have you ever read the articles
In Cosmo

Regretfully, yes

You have?

There was that one issue
They had that article
On having better sex…
No, wait,
That’s every issue

Did you learn anything?

You tell me…
Have you learned anything
From reading them?

You tell me

I… umm…
Don’t know what you might
Have been like before
I met you

Oh, basically the same.
Unable to think of what to paint,
But full of poses no one had seen yet…

So I came around
Just in time for
All the good stuff

Basically, yes

Sketches – 2

Among many actual conversations

How’s the painting going?

I haven’t started yet
I am trying to think of
What it is I want to paint

I like it so far

You would
You’re weird

Me? Weird?

Well, your taste in art
Is as strange
As your taste in women

I think your painting needs

More white space

This is a painting
Of all your coherent thoughts

Not blank enough

I might have to
Agree with you there

Should I go away and
Let you paint?

Maybe you could be
An artist’s assistant, and
Bring me some tea

You’re so demanding.

While you’re in there
Find me something
I can actually
Paint about

Sketches – 1

Actual conversations

… If people can’t order
What they want to eat
In less than 45 seconds,
They shouldn’t be using
A fast food drive-in, and…
Why are you laughing?

Because you’re on a rant

It’s called “fast food”
Because it’s supposed to be
You know, fast —

You’re logic seems
What do you think
Of my hair tonight?

It looks amazing.

Worth a long wait
At a drive thru window?

I would wait
Behind a Greyhound Bus
Full of sloths
For that hair.

My hair is like
Rant control

16 things real men do

how self-empowerment messages often turn self-defeating…

she read an article entitled
’16 things real men do’…

no man she’d ever known
had done even four of them

rereading, she found
that the article implied
that ‘real women’ could make
‘real men’ out of
‘mere boys’

so, she thought, maybe
it was her fault that
she knew no real men

so, she asked her trainer,
who was himself a man,
what he thought

he told her he thought the article
was ‘real stupid’


willingness to settle for partners
who behave selfishly
is indeed a problem far too prevalent

he said that

when people quit focusing
on what ‘real men’ or ‘real women’ do
and focus instead on
what ‘just everyday people’ ought to do

we’d get closer to something like
a useful bit of information

she asked him, though,
if he thought she’d ever meet someone
who she would want to marry, and
who would want to marry her…

and he said, “yes, sure, but

you are perfectly fine
as you are..

live a life that matters


little else will”