Farm-Girl Invasion


I drive in the country, and on one occasion
I saw the scorched earth of a farm-girl invasion
With fires in fields leading into a town
With people all over, but no men around –
The men were in boxes, the women outside
I saw a red veil on one terrible bride
Standing by a church, in a party of ten
With bloodstains where I guessed the groomsmen had been
And they all stared at me in my little car
I knew I should never have driven this far

So I hit the gas to get back to the highway
But now I saw lights, and they were headed my way
And three squadron cars, that I knew would be gaining
My foot to the floor, my poor engine was straining
The tractors I passed by were left unattended
As I sped along, thinking my life had ended
I saw as the first car got close to my ride
Guns pointed towards me from the women inside
I thought about just driving into a tree
Rather than find out what they would do to me

But as I crossed over the top of a ridge
I saw down below me, in front of a bridge
A line of green tanks, with their guns pointed out
And now I was absolutely without doubt
That my drive was over and this was death’s dawn
When I looked behind me, and saw they were gone
I slowed my car down and I knew I was fine
I saw the armed men that were manning that line
They said, “How’d you get out?” – “Just lucky,” I said,
“If you weren’t right here, I guess I would be dead.
Just what was that?” I asked, all covered in sweat
“Well, that, my friend, is our most dangerous threat.

You might be a brave heart, who’d never surrender
But if you are also among the male gender
Believe me, whatever your creed or persuasion
You don’t want to land in a farm-girl invasion.”

My First Addiction

Others might be like me
Maybe I can be a leader;
Confessing I was weekly hooked
By (yes) the Weekly Reader.

I was only six years old
Not knowing that succeeding
My young life then was bound to be
A lifetime full of reading.


Every week we’d read about
A galaxy expanding
We read ourselves to rocketships
And on the first moon landing.

The Reader faded as we grew
And we turned other pages new
But learned within those books we’d share
That words could take us anywhere.

Am I Using These Right?

I work for bear
I had a problem with battles between my various teaching staffs
So, to solve this problem
All my faculties were brought to bear

I went to plow a field
It had a giant, immovable clock in it
I needed to plow, so
I worked around the clock

My horse was injured and in the veterinary hospital
They said he was well enough to come home, so I would say
He’s in stable condition

I was attacked for posting these idiotic puns
A blogger with a knife sliced me several times
Carved my initials on the top of my forehead
So now my name is
A cut above the rest


So She Kept Walking

As drops fell lightly down at first
And gradually the sky turned black
While clouds threatened to do their worst
There was no thought of turning back —
So she kept walking

The roads and houses now were strange
Potholes and mud along the way
Bewilderment from constant change
As night replaced the waning day —
But she kept walking

The hill she reached was miles long
Her eyes could not make out the crest
And she felt worlds away from strong
And didn’t know what course was best —
Yet she kept walking —

And by her bed in ICU
Her grandson sat and watched her breathe
But all of this she never knew
As up the hill she took her leave
She breathed her last and reached the top
And as her heart came to a stop
Before that final moment passed
She saw the light she sought at last
So she kept walking