i learned to read

i learned to read when i was three years old
from cereal boxes, riding in a grocery cart

when my mom would lift me into or out of the cart,
that would be the only time all week
anyone in the family would touch me

in the family i grew up in, we
didn’t touch each other much
or tell each other much that
actually mattered much

my parents were never cruel
never neglectful
never touching us, or,
each other —
at least where we saw them

i never knew what they were feeling
because they didn’t say


i learned to read

to read feelings, to figure out when
people were sad or angry or
anything else without them
actually telling me

it’s not a very exact science
i’ve been a practitioner to this day

and as for never being touched:

when you are never touched,
if i am any representative,
you may not feel hated, but
you feel

or maybe


Author: Beleaguered Servant

Owen "Beleaguered" Servant (a/k/a Sibelius Russell) writes poetry mostly, with an occasional pause to have a seizure.

7 thoughts on “i learned to read”

  1. Oh…..to love one has to be lovable and be loved…………….Surely by now you KNOW you’ve broken those bonds of perceived unlove and You can deeply love yourself………….Only cognitive understanding doesn’t cut it, does it?
    sending lots of x0xo,
    Angel in the dust

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s