people don’t come to me with advice, they look to me for advice. given where i am, i’m supposed to have, if not “all the answers”, at least “answers”
because i’m the dad, the grandpa, the experienced one – i’m in management
we don’t like how things are going… do you mind making a few changes?
tell me what’s bothering you
my world’s falling apart — all i loved has left me
i’m so very sorry
that’s hardly enough is it? do something about it!
in management, you are supposed to fix these things, you know? only, i can’t think what i could possibly do about it
but you’re my father!
i know i am
don’t you know what i’ve been through, what i’m going through?
i’m sure i don’t — you can tell me, i’m here, i’ll listen…
the world is broken because people like you don’t care. you sit there, ‘listening’… and nothing changes. why don’t you fix it?
i don’t know how to fix it
then we need someone else in charge
i won’t argue with you there
why have you lived this long and learned nothing of value?
the father’s words destroy child… the father’s actions hopelessly wound the wife… the father’s inactions emotionally cripple his family… total mismanagement —
why can’t love be enough? it’s all i really have –
you’re not needed for that. it’d be great if you could fix the bathroom sink
stop making me cry
you don’t get to cry – you’re in management
i don’t want to be in management
tough. you have the job
i don’t even want to be… at all
then work yourself to death, like all the other bosses do
This reminds me of every time I saw a kid being picked up from daycare by a parent, when he/she finally exhaled noisily in the face of unconditional love after a long day of living in its fearful opposite.
Wow. This is a very powerful, poignant piece. Thanks for sharing.
thank you, friend. that means a lot to me.
How beautifully written. Really pulled at my heart more ways than one.
What a common struggle in the up and coming. That ever so important role of mentor…you have to be the strength and foundation. They rely on you, and sometimes you feel you have to be the soil and the fertilizer and the rain. My baby brother lives with me, he relies on my for my approval. I wish he would listen to advice.
Management is difficult, I remember once in my early 20’s writing a blog post on how I did long to work myself to death, how that is how I wanted to go, and I wanted it to come sooner rather than later, life was too hard. But that storm passed, and a new dawning began, before I was ready, before I even wanted it. Sometimes the emptiness in management sucks the drive out of us…but we just have to…well…manage, I suppose.
“Daddy fix” But then only daddy’s can. God bless them and let us remember to give them a hug-hugs, friend.