Now all day long, I give advice.
It’s free, but well worth twice the price;
Just come to me with all your woes:
I’m sure I can solve all of those.

For unlicensed life expert (me)
Will counsel you to sanity:
With bromides, and with pale cliches,
I’ll guide you through life’s twisted maze.

And though you might ask who the hell
Am I, to think that I can tell
You how to live, or who to date,
Believe me: I’m just really great.

So join our new proclivity
To dwell in positivity:
For no cents, you will get no sense,
And little
Sensitivity