That Owen Servant Guy

My blogs all use a pseudonym.
I write this way because
I want to be authentic here
About what is, and was –

But I don’t want this to cause pain.
I’m not a perfect guy;
I carry with me guilt and shame
That these words might belie

But for that, please forgive me now,
I hope you won’t me spurn —
It’s just that Owen Servant guy:
He’s got
A lot
To learn

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Do Not Disturb

How do you manage your online privacy? Are there certain things you won’t post in certain places? Information you’ll never share online? Or do you assume information about you is accessible anyway?

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9 Thoughts to “That Owen Servant Guy

  1. My answer to this can change by the day.

    When I started my first blog in ’95, I was a pretty open book. Then I got irritated by the discovery certain family members read it (even when asked not to, the nerve! heh), and reined it back in.

    I’ve gone through many contractions and expansions since then. My rule when starting this blog was, “Is what I’m about to post something I’d be OK with my dad knowing?” The answer is a little complicated by the fact he works as a P.I., thus setting up a situation where the person I want to know the least about my life is also the one best equipped to know anything he wants about it. There’s a certain freedom in that, and recognizing the motivated searcher–even not a PI–will find what they want. My goal now is to not present enough information to make it clear or easy for non-motivated searchers. Most people, fortunately, aren’t that interested/invested. (I hope I never again meet the kind who’s both.)

    Still, I was reluctant to connect my blog and LinkedIn until this week. This week was a turning point in my realizing I want to work for an employer who will see the way I think and express myself here as an asset. I linked them and overhauled my LinkedIn profile to use “human voice.” It feels fantastic.

    I’ll probably go through contractions and expansions again in the days ahead. What I post about my sons will be guided by what they’re comfortable with me posting. Li’l D, for example, doesn’t usually permit pictures of himself to be here. I’m sure there’ll be certain anecdotes he doesn’t want shared here, too; I omit those I think he’d be mortified by in five years, or ten. Anthony, for his part, was way more open book than me way earlier. I think his approach to it has mellowed mine, in conjunction with my life experiences.

    1. I would look at good writing as a plus for any job. I’m a professional mathematician (actuary) and the company I work for has had me do a lot of public speaking for them over the years, because I’m decent at it. When you can say what you mean, you stand out among most.

      My youngest is 20 and keeps a Tumblr blog. He knows I keep a WordPress blog. We respect each other’s space, because we each need it. He’s going through substance abuse, mental health and gender identity struggles; and I’m going through them with him, but in the way parents of (nearly) adult children do. Sometimes I use writing to escape thinking about these things, if only for a while.

      1. I can’t tell you what exactly is is about this comment that brought tears to my eyes, but bring tears to my eyes it did.

        Perhaps it’s recognition of the mutual struggle, and acceptance of the patience required to address it properly? The sense of your both being in it together for the long haul, though the shorter haul will have challenges requiring different kinds of relief?

        Either way, I’m so heartened by your words, and sending both well wishes and thanks, for your using your words as you do here.

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